Diary of a CyberChondriac

Poor Manda. She thinks she might have a bladder infection. We looked up her symptoms on google. Burning when peeing and a pain in her groin area. Google did not mention a pain in that area. It said you may encounter pain the lower back or kidney area. I didn’t like to say anything to Manda but I suspect she may have caught an STI (sexually transmitted infection ). Google did mention that it would burn when you pee and you may get a sharp pain in the groin area. It said you may also get green sores on your genitals (euch! ).

She has been such a laugh on this weekend away she doesn’t deserve to catch anything as horrid as that Still, I suppose she did have unprotected sex with the Roman soldier. She said she didn’t go all the way with the German guy although she did see his bratwurst sausage.

We enjoyed our last day in the Capital. Tracey and I went shopping. There was an outdoor market on so I bought a Prada handbag for twenty five euros and some costume jewellery. Tracey bought a Louis Vuitton suitcase for a hundred euros. Is a brilliant copy as I have seen the celebrities in the OK magazines at the airports with their large pile of LV luggage.

Manda felt unwell so she and Claire went ahead to the airport.

Tracey and I swapped all her stuff into the new case and we checked in for our flight home.

When we found Manda and Claire, Manda was crying and Claire was telling her off.

Manda told me she thought she might have caught something from that Roman soldier as she was really itchy down below. I calmed her down and said we would go straight to the 24 hour pharmacy when we got back to Manchester. She said she thinks she loves Gus and feels really guilty for cheating on him.

I told her to just put it out of her mind and start afresh with Gus. I believe in these situations, clearing your conscience does not help the other party. Even if it eases your guilt.

Flight not as bad as there were loads of empty seats so I sat with Tracey. I poured my heart out to her about Mark. Tracey thinks he really loves me and that I am being a fool for punishing him about Jennifer. She said he will find someone else and that I was not getting any younger ( she reminded me that I will be 35 in a months time.)

Claire’s boyfriend was picking us up from airport. I could not believe my eyes when I saw him. He looks exactly like one of the Chuckle brothers. I guess it has made me realise how gorgeous Mark is.

Am now back at my flat and I am gutted. I have a letter from my landlord. I have to vacate the property next Saturday as the place is being rewired and a new central heating system is being installed. As a result my rent is going up. What a bloody cheek.
I have been getting electric shocks for the past three and a half years. He should be giving me compensation.

Mark had left three massages telling me he misses me and he hopes I have a great weekend in Rome (Rex had mentioned to Mungo .)

I rang Manda straight away and she said the sachets she got from the chemist are not working so she is going to go to the STI clinic first thing. I said I would cover for her at work. I asked her if I would move in with her for a fortnight whilst my flat gets renovated and she agreed immediately.

I rang Mark when I was curled up in bed. He was nearly in tears. He said he really missed me and he loves me. I told him I thought I loved him. He said he understood that I have issues with trust and self esteem so he was pleased that I thought I loved him.

He said he has actually broken one of the bones in his ankle but the hospital have agreed to take his cast off next week so that he can return to work.

I assured him I would call after work tomorrow and we could have a good talk then.

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