Diary of a CyberChondriac

Rex rang, he had the Botox injections yesterday and his wrinkles are still there. He is in a panic that he won’t look his best for tomorrow at the Hair show. I googled it and told him it can take five to seven days for wrinkles to disperse. I advised he use Smashbox mineral foundation. He called me a smart arse and said he wants a refund. He is also considering having his teeth lightened by lasers because years of chain smoking have left them somewhat yellowy.

I told him that google advises to get an impression made at the dentist and wear the tooth whitening trays at home because laser whitening can cause bad sensitivity. He said he would have to go private because he had had a one night stand with his bi-sexual dentist and had promised to ring him but had not bothered.

I told him not to go to my dentist as they are old fashioned (not even computerised yet and it’s 2009 ). Also Mr Singh has bad breath and failing eyesight.

Rex said he will be very busy tomorrow so Mitchell is picking me up at five thirty. I reminded him that was living at Manda’s. I told him about eruption in between eyebrows. I advised him I was possibly growing a tusk. He said as long as it’s not a beard or a tache he can deal with it (note to self, must tweezer out my wiry menstrual bristle hair from chin. )

Had fab night at Manda’s. Tracey, Bernice and Claire came. I managed to avoid her for most of the night but she had brought photos from Rome. I saw Manda look uncomfortable when the Roman soldier one came up.

I have asked for a couple to copy (I look fairly young, and hair is tidy.)

We drank Mojitos and white wine. We played our normal game of ‘would you shag him?’ about people from the telly. We all agreed (except Claire ) that we would shag Simon Cowell as he has this air of power about him. We reckon he would like a girl to be a dirty ride and we all concurred that he would have some sort of magic power over us and that we would agree to whatever sexual demands he asked of us. Gerard Butler was a definite along with Dermot O’Leary.

Went to my new bed very drunk so should sleep ok. Texted Mark before lights out and he informed me that Rex had invited him tomorrow night so he is coming with Mungo and Babs. I told him I cannot drink as am on anti biotics ( I don’t count those mojitos tonight as they were medicinal.) He said he is not drinking anyway as still on crutches. Anyhow, I agreed to sleep at his tomorrow night. He is hoping to get cast removed on Monday.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS