Week 9 – Thursday
10.06.09
Am really missing my own bed. Manda’s spare room bed is memory foam. So bloody uncomfortable. I tossed and turned all night. Also I could hear her and Gus having sex in her room. I may have to rethink my plans. My mum has offered me my old room (still has Tears for Fears poster and pink cloud wallpaper ) but am not too keen. Dad only allows us two squares of toilet roll for a number two and one square for a number one. I remember the first time I got my flat, I practically used a whole roll to wipe my bum. It was bliss.
Very busy at work today, I wore normal work clothes as new rules don’t start until Monday. I rang mum in my lunch hour and told her not to ring me at work anymore as have new Nazi style boss. She told me that Anita has been offered a four bedroomed in William Hague Way (five minutes from Neil Kinnock Crescent where mum and dad live.)
The previous tenants (the Hubbard’s) have been evicted due to disturbance of the peace, GBH and rent arrears. She is going to see it tonight during Ivan’s tea break. Mum reckons it won’t be very nice inside as the Hubbard’s are soap dodgers, work dodgers and general scum of the estate.
Rex has persuaded Manda to come to the salon tonight for a restyle. She said it will fit in with her new ways of being a one man woman. I reminded her that she makes her normal stylist use a ruler to cut the exact half a centimetre every six weeks. She assured me that it is time for change.
Rex emailed me (I had warned him not to ring as I want to get a good reference ). Transform consultant said the toe operation was a major operation and he would be off his feet for six to eight weeks. He also said he didn’t feel an operation was necessary. He wasn’t going to to dissuaded so he compromised and is booked in a fortnight before Christmas to have liposuction on his stomach. I told him I had seen more fat on a butcher’s apron but he gave a strong argument about middle age spread. He told me to come to the salon tonight so I agreed as he always provides pino grigiot and marks and spencers’s nibbles. It’s like a night out. Oh no, just remembered cannot drink. I hate the dentist and everything he stands for.
I emailed Rex and said that only Manda and Gus would be coming. (Those black stools gave me quite a turn, I will have to behave for another few days. )
Went around to Mark’s instead and he gave me a card and went “Da – Dah!”. He’s only gone and bought me a block of twenty driving lessons. Of course I had to act pleased. I have already had that instructor six years ago and he banned me from ever getting in his car again. I will have to either come clean to Mark, phone ABC School of motoring and explain and maybe get a refund or lastly, sell lessons on Ebay.
Mark said quite proudly that he got the lessons for free as Mungo did some business for this guy, the instructor.
I gave Mark the arnica cream and he was really touched. I helped him massage it in but he said he could manage and shooed me away.
I told him I wasn’t feeling too well and that I needed to go to my mum’s. He gave me a lift to mum’s house. I told him I wasn’t sure when I could see him again as had loads of overtime at work. (I need to think of an excuse about driving lessons.)
I ended up going to number 66 William Hague Way with whole family.
Horrendous. A filthy tip. Oven had never seen a brillo pad, carpets stained with dog excrement and human excrement, woodchip wallpaper on every wall in the house. It stunk to high heaven. The garden was huge but had a burnt out shed, a heavily soiled mattress, numerous broken toys, cigarette ends, empty cans, a melted wheely bin and several panty liners.
Anita is ringing the council tomorrow to say she will take the house.
Tags: arnica cream, block of twenty driving lessons, liposuction on his stomach, pino grigiot
